mad hot sex and carnivale   I had a dream that I was walking to this big sea-side hotel with my teenage son, who was on his way to see some friends. When I got to the hotel I went up to a room where I'd been carrying on a love affair with the Usher for months. I was totally in love with him and didn't know yet that he was evil.

Then mad crazy sex happened. A lot.

Then as I was falling asleep, I somehow realized that he was trying to kill my. He had been giving me makeup as gifts for the whole time we were together, and I knew that the makeup was poisoned. So I crept off of the bed quietly, got out my makeup kit, and proceeded to do up his whole face. I was hoping that his death would be deemed a bizarre drag queen suicide.

In the meantime there was this huge storm that had started to rage outside, and the sea was starting to flood over the roads. A man who was terrified of water had been driving a Cadillac which got swept up by the waves and the Coast Guard was called out to rescue him. But he wouldn't get out of the car because he was so scared of the water killing him. So the CG took this huge air-cannon type thing which they proceeded to use to blow him out of the car through his windshield. He went shooting up through the air and finally got hung up on this radio tower on a hill, where he flopped around as people ran to climb the tower and save him.

The boom of the air cannon woke up the Usher as I was putting the rest of his makeup on, and he attacked me. We fought, fell off of the bed, and writhed across the floor with him trying to kill me -- until I found a power nail gun. I shot him with it and then I remember thinking, 'Shoot him again. They always shoot the bad guys once and then they wake up and get you in the end.' So I shot him over and over and over again with the nail gun until his entire body from head to toe looked like it was covered in metal nail-head skin.

Then the alarm went off.

It's too bad really. He was a good kisser. (2005-03-09)

posted by merlot on 2005-03-09
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